5 Quick Wins making life easier as a Working Mom of Toddlers and a Baby.
Being a working mom of toddlers and a baby is a major challenge, for many reasons. But one of the key reasons is the sheer amount of mental energy you find yourself spending to keep track of everything and manage everyone. These 5 quick wins have been a game changer for helping me cope with #allthethings related to working-mom-life.
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Every mom is a working mom.
No one ever tells you just how much you’ll have going on as a mom. How much mental and emotional energy goes into the task.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a stay-at-home mom or a ‘working’ mom or a mom who works from home. No one mom-category works harder than the other. We all work. And we all work hard!
As a working mom of toddlers and a baby, I’m always looking for ways to make my life easier: To help things run more smoothly, to make sure we get everything done as efficiently as possible, with as little stress as possible.
High ideals…I know.
Nonetheless, returning to work after maternity leave, for a third time, has been really challenging. Not so much like the first two times, which had more of an emotional component of leaving the new baby. But more in the sense of balancing all the mental tasks of work, home and family.
So, if you’re feeling
- overwhelmed and like it’s all too much,
- like you’re just not getting to everything and you actually don’t even know what that “everything” is
- frustrated at always forgetting things
- rushed because you have so much to do and so little time
- mad at your kids all the time and like you just can’t be the calm parent you want to be
- like you’re just not a good enough mom and you can’t cope with all that’s being demanded from you
I am with you! 100%
These 5 quick wins have been making a world of difference to me, and my family, as working mom of two toddlers and baby.
5 things making life easier for me as a working mom of toddlers and a baby
1) “Brain dump” before bed time
It’s not something I always do, but when I feel like my brain is going to explode from all the things swirling around in there: All the things I simply CANNOT forget to do tomorrow. All the emotions I’m feeling from the day. Mulling over all the things that happened or were said that day. This is my go-to.
Grab a journal or notebook, or even use the notes app on your phone, and ‘brain-dump’ everything on your mind before you go to bed.
Everything you’re anxious about, everything you’re thinking about doing tomorrow, everything that made you mad and upset today, everything you’re thinking about for the future. Just “dump” it on the page in whatever format or way you prefer. It can be a short few words, a list or a longer, paragraph piece. Just get it out of your mind and onto the paper.
If you can get it all out on the page, you’re not mulling over things when you should be relaxing before going to sleep. You’re less anxious and upset. It’s easier to let things go or set them aside for a new day, when they’re on the page and not in your head.
I know, things often seem a lot worse in our minds. When I’ve written them down, there’s a sense of “Oh! Is that all?! – Well, that’s not so bad, I can handle that”.
And the other bonus is that you won’t be afraid you’ve forgotten something tomorrow.
2) Batch your tasks to get more done.
“Batching” is one of my favorite new words!
It’s all about working SMARTER, not HARDER! And with all the tasks we as working moms have at our workplace, in our homes, with our children, we have to find a way to work smart!
When you have a long list of tasks to do, grab your favorite highlighters and batch them in groups and do them at the same time.
How you batch them is up to you:
– Maybe it’s a matter of proximity – You’re out, so run all the errands at once.
– Maybe it’s a matter of task – You have 4 phone calls to make, make them at the same time. You need to do a bunch of chores, get them done at the same time.
You’ll use that (precious) mental energy more efficiently because you’re not context switching all the time. That means you can focus on what the task is and what’s required of it. You won’t forget about it later.
And, if there’s that one thing you’re just REALLY dreading doing but it needs to be done, it’s easier to get it out of the way while you’re doing tasks of a similar nature.
3) Give it JUST 15 minutes.
Are you dreading doing something?
You keep putting it off because it’s too uncomfortable, you feel too uninspired or it just seems impossible to even start because it’s SUCH a big task.
Maybe it’s writing that email? Or that part of a work project you’re just so uninspired to begin. Maybe it’s starting that home DIY project you’ve been putting off. Or folding the laundry or decluttering that infamous junk-drawer. Maybe it’s sorting that paperwork lying on a heap on your kitchen counter.
Put a timer on for 15 minutes. And commit to working on it for JUST 15 minutes.
It suddenly doesn’t seem insurmountable when you know you’re JUST going to spend 15 minutes on it.
And you’ll feel like you’ve accomplished at least SOMETHING with that job that seemed so awful.
When your timer goes off and you’ve overcome that first hurdle of just starting, you get to decide if you want to give it another 15 minutes or if you want to quit and try again tomorrow. What you’ll probably find is that, now that you’ve overcome the “block” that was hindering you, you probably just want to get it done or maybe you find it’s not so awful and you’re in a flow to complete it!
4) Make checklists for everything.
I love a list. Getting through the list is a different story, but, just having the list makes me feel like I have a little more control and direction! Anyone else with me!?
Let me tell you a quick story:
So we went to visit my parents-in-law and we wrapped up there at like 3/4pm. As we’re driving home I suddenly get this sinking feeling – it’s the beginning of a new week tomorrow. There is SO MUCH to do before tomorrow comes!
Bags to pack, lunches to make, dishes, I need to cook supper, get the kids bathed and find clothes for them for tomorrow…the thoughts were just flying around in all directions in my mind! What else is there, I’m sure I’m forgetting something… Heart beats faster. Eeek! Stressed out!
But then I remembered – I have a LIST.
Whew! Relief.
There on my fridge, attached with a pretty magnet, is my very simple pen-on-paper list. A list including EVERYTHING I need to organize, sort out and pack for every person in the house, what I need to sort out tonight, and what I need to get done in the morning. A simple routine, written down for how my evenings and mornings must happen so I get to it all and forget nothing.
This quick win saved me from overwhelm and being flustered (at least in this area of life) on more than one occasion! Plus, because it’s written down and posted up, when hubby helps out, he knows exactly what needs to be done too!
5) Plan your next week on the weekend.
It’s really worth taking 15 – 30 min on a weekend to plan your next week.
Reflect on the week you’ve just had and write down all the things you haven’t done that you’ll need to get to next week.
Check your calendar for any events, appointments, school fundraisers, school projects, etc coming up – and make a list of anything you’ll need to do to prepare for them – eg provide cupcakes for a school event or buy cardboard for that poster your child has to create. This weekly planner for busy moms is pretty and practical and has a few options to choose from to suit your needs.
Plan your meals for the week – and while you do that, make your shopping list. This is a quick, pretty template to guide you, plus it looks great stuck on the fridge.
And don’t forget to factor in some family time and some REST time for you – some time just for you, for self-care, for being refreshed.
My message to working moms.
A stressed out, frustrated, flustered mama is never a safe-haven for her children. And unfortunately, its just not something you can decide not to do or be. It’s not something you can just switch on or off as you wish.
Things have to change so you don’t find yourself in that position every day. If you’re working mom, and especially if you’re a working mom of toddlers and a baby, you need to put some structures and systems in place that will make your life easier, more predictable and less stressful.
Do we stick to these 100% of the time? No. Does it always work out and have we got a completely stress-free, struggle-free home? Ha! No. Have we had weeks we have completely not applied this and it’s all fallen to pieces? Oh yeah!
But you know the beautiful thing about every day and week – there’s a new one around the corner!
Just try again tomorrow.
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