Tips to surround yourself with support for burnt-out moms
Surrounding yourself with support from others can be a really difficult and humbling thing. Yet, if we want to be great moms, who aren’t burnt out and miserable, we’re going to have tap those resources when we need them!
No mom will ever admit to having it all together, and yet, we believe that every other mom does! And we don’t.
Here’s a nugget of truth to hold on to today: You are not alone!
We’re not designed to do this on our own!
Nothing about being a mom is easy. It’s an amazing job, an incredible journey, a humongous blessing and joy.
But it sure ain’t easy!
From the moment that precious life is conceived to the moment they fly the nest – and beyond – our task is profoundly demanding! And that’s just the parenting part! Never mind trying to keep your home and perform at work and keep it all together. The demands are sometimes beyond what we can handle.
But here’s another nugget of truth: You weren’t meant to be doing this alone.
Support is vital
If you’re experiencing a bit of compassion fatigue, feeling a bit burnt out, there are two areas you HAVE to address: Self care, and Support.
Check out this post on how to prioritize self-care as a busy mom.
We are social beings and being connected to others is one of the first things that goes when we’re feeling burnt out. Why? Because relationships, staying connected, can be exhausting when you’re running on empty!
Nonetheless, if we’re going to survive compassion fatigue and come out the other end a stronger, healthier person, we HAVE to tap into the social resources we have around us!
Healthy relationships
Having healthy relationships with those around us is a HUGE source of strength and support when we’re at our lowest. These are the kind of relationships where you feel built up, appreciated for who you are, where you can be yourself – even at your lowest points – and know you’re still loved! These are the relationships where there is give and take, where you can support and be supported.
Do you have at least one relationship of which this is true?
Nurturing healthy relationships with our spouses and children, our extended family and our friends, and beyond into our community and workplace is vital. Then we can offer our love and support to others when we’re strong and draw from those relationships when we’re weak!
Accept help when its offered
Have you ever heard the saying, “Never turn down a breath mint.”?
Literally, that’s really good advice! But there’s a deeper lesson in that saying too!
Sometimes we can’t see where we need help, or even THAT we need help! Maybe it’s pride, maybe it’s just ignorance. But sometimes, other can see that we aren’t coping before we’re willing to acknowledge it.
When someone offers you some help – just take it! A simple, “Thank you, that would be awesome!” is enough! No explanations or excuses needed.
There are no prizes for the mom who burns out because she thought she could handle it all. Accepting help is not accepting defeat.
Ask for help
And that leads me to this point, that sometimes, we actually just have to ask for help! This is where those relationships we talked about earlier become crucial.
Where could you use some help?
Do you need someone to take care of the kids for a couple of hours while you take a shower and a nap? Maybe you need to employ a housekeeper, even if only once a week, to just do the laundry or keep up with the cleaning you’re just not getting to any more. It might be that you need to delegate some tasks to your spouse so you don’t have to spend the mental energy on that thing anymore. Maybe you need to do some of your shopping online and have them deliver, then you won’t have to stress about supervising three toddlers and making sure you put the right items in the shopping cart!
It can be something big, or something small, but asking for help can make all the difference. And right now, if you need that support, just ask for it! You may be surprised who is just waiting to be a blessing, in your life, in that way, today!
Get professional help when you need it!
Sometimes asking for that support means asking for professional help! And that’s ok too!
The tough part here is being honest with ourselves! We are so good at shaking it off, taking a deep breath and saying “I’m fine, I can manage this on my own!”
But sometimes we can’t. It’s ok!
Professionals are there to support and help where our other resources and relationships cannot. So, get a life coach or chat to a counsellor or psychologist. Find the one that you feel most comfy with and talk it out, get some perspective, learn something new about yourself or how to cope in a healthier way!
What would you do?
Momma, if your child was struggling with something – something really serious, something that meant their joy, their health, even their life was in danger. Would you rather they struggled on their own; drowning in defeat and despair, while trying to appear that they’re holding it together!? Or would you rather they came and poured out their heart to you? And would you not do everything in your power to bring help and healing and hope back to their lives!?
You wouldn’t want them to think they had to suffer alone!
Maybe you’re feeling the same, if you’re really honest with yourself. You don’t have to suffer alone either!
I would love to connect with you and hear all about your how you’re coping with life and all that’s going on around us! And I’d love to include you in this community of Mommies as we support each other and grow together to become the best moms we can be!
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