How to make Self Care a Priority for Busy Moms.
Self care. It’s a word we’re hearing a lot of these days. As a mom, it’s crucial to prioritise self care for the sake of your survival and probably your family’s too.
Too dramatic? Maybe. But if you’ve ever been in a place where you feel like you’re completely spent and you’ve got nothing left to pour out on anyone else, even the ones you love the most, you’ll understand that this is not too dramatic at all!
Why Self Care is important
No one can understand what motherhood actually entails until you’re a mom!
It’s a daily, hourly sacrifice for the sake of everyone you’re taking care of in your family. And that’s not even including all of the other responsibilities that fall to you to do. Motherhood is ignoring your exhaustion to get up and feed that baby at 2am in the morning. Putting your own fears aside to comfort your little one in a scary situation. Refusing to allow your anger to boil over so you can help regulate your toddler’s temper tantrum. Putting aside your needs and wants so you can make sure everyone else is looked after.
Who’s looking after you, Mama?!
The problem with this is that once your cup is all poured out, and you’re completely spent, you’re no good to yourself or anyone else!
And this is why prioritising care of ourselves as moms is vital! Not to be selfish, but to survive!
What does Self Care look like when you’re a busy mom?
If you’re thinking self care is a matter of a long vacation, a spa day every other week; a glamorous, idealist view of having loads of free down time, it’s likely you’ve stopped reading already!
Truth is, as a busy mom with little people always under your feet, even getting a few minutes of alone time to even go to the loo is a luxury! Am I right!?
Self care can definitely be that long vacation or spa day, but it’s the little things that really count. Here are 6 areas where you can prioritise self care a busy mom.
1) Set boundaries
Setting boundaries is one of the hardest things to do, but it sets the tone for everything else. I think this one’s the hardest because we want to preserve relationships. And sometimes setting boundaries and saying “no” feels like we’re letting people down.
I know I’m still trying to figure this one out! But I think it’s possible to preserve the relationship and show that person they are still important to you even if you have to draw a line in the sand. Saying ‘no’ doesn’t always mean ‘no, never’, sometimes it means ‘no, not right now’.
What are your limits? Work within them. What limits do you have in terms of your time? How about your abilities and skills? What limits do you have on your finances?
Do you really have three hours available to have coffee with your girlfriends or do you need to limit it to a quick hour this week? Do you actually need to sew your child a costume for their dress up day or can you rather buy something? Are there really enough funds in your account to treat your extended family to dinner at a fancy restaurant or could you host them at your house for an amazing home-cooked meal?
These are tough decisions to make and we’d all love to have an endless supply of everything we could desire. But the reality is that we DO have limits. And it’s ok! You can still do amazing things, serve in amazing ways and spend time with everyone you love, you just have to be creative and work within your limits.
2) Take breaks
Feel like your battery is flat? Breaks recharge us. Real breaks, I mean, not the kind of break where you eat your sandwich while you type a blog post and call it a lunch break (Can’t imagine how I might have come up with that example?). We just weren’t designed to be on the go 24/7 as much as society would like to have us think otherwise.
Start with the mini breaks. Have a cup of coffee. Eat your lunch. Get up from your desk and take a 5-10 min walk in the garden. And leave your phone behind! When you take that mini break, switch off from your work, don’t use that time to check social media or email. Just have a mental rest.
And maybe you need a break from the kids too? That’s ok! It takes a lot of mental and emotional energy to meet their needs every second they’re with you. Whew… but the guilt! Yip, I get it – try remember the big picture, Mommy! Sometimes Tim takes our girls for a short walk so I can have 15 minutes of peace and quiet – that’s a real blessing!
And then, plan some big breaks. A family vacation for a few days. A night off to spend with your hubby while Granny and Granddad look after the kiddos. And be present during those times; prioritise the important stuff -relax, read a book, watch your kids play, have real conversations with each other.
And don’t be afraid to take breaks from social media, screen time and even from some commitments and activities. If it frees up some time, frees up some mental space, if it will decrease some stress, it’s worth the break. Remember, just because you’re taking a break doesn’t mean it’s forever, it might just be a for a season so you can recharge and find your feet again!
3) Get organised
Being organised, planning ahead, having a routine – all of these things make life feel less overwhelming and reduces our anxiety.
When I feel overwhelmed or lost as to where to even start, I make a list. And it gives me a sense of control, and takes away that sense of overwhelm. In your head, things always seem a lot more or a lot worse; when they’re on paper, it’s often not as bad as you thought!
So take some control and make a plan. Grab a cup of coffee, a notepad and your calendar or try out this FREE Weekly Planner for Busy Moms that I created. And plan. Plan out your month and your next week. Work out your meals so you can plan your shopping list. Plan the flow of your finances for the next month. Every day, plan out what tasks you need to accomplish.
And then take some action toward getting more organised. Check those items off your to do list. Pack the kids bags the night before. You can even prepare lunches the night before. Declutter those spaces in your home that need it – yes, the one you’re thinking about and dreading right now. Get your home organised so walking through the door after a long day is refreshing rather than dread-filled.
4) Look after your Body
Taking care of our bodies inside and out, in a physical sense, is a key part of self care. Being busy means we have to be creative about how we do this!
Healthy eating is actually not that hard, excluding the cravings and being in a habit of eating unhealthy food. Meal planning has helped me a lot in this area! If I know what I’m cooking or preparing and if I’ve bought healthy snacks, it’s less tempting – and less justified – to get take-outs or eat an unhealthy snack. So while you’re saving some time, money and stress planning your meals for the week – plan healthy ones!
Carry a bottle of water with you everywhere you go. Add some yummy fruit ( my personal favourite is orange, strawberry and mint) to your water to make it more palatable. A dehydrated body and brain does not function optimally.
Get active. Find something you can enjoy. Short workouts of 15-20 min a day are super effective and completely do-able. Make it a family activity – go for a brisk walk together, go play in the park, put on some music and dance with your kiddies.
Get some rest! This season of motherhood is just hard, I know – being pregnant, having a nursing baby or toddlers who are up and down all night – it’s tough. But being sleep-deprived sucks. Try and get an earlier night. If someone else can watch the kids, take a nap, or have a nap when they do. Rest is important.
And don’t forget to look after your body in the ‘small’ things too – take a shower, wash your hair, paint your nails, shave your legs, put on some make up. Basic care of your body shouldn’t even be something special we have to mention here – it should be a given. But I know it’s tough sometimes – I think every mama’s been there! When everything else is taking precedence, it’s easy to let these things slide.
5) Look after your mind and soul
What are some things that make your mind and soul happy? What hobbies do you do (did you do?) that just feel like they feed your soul? When last have you given yourself an opportunity to do them?
No one ever told me how much of a mental and emotional load I would have to carry as a mom. All of the things you’re thinking about every minute of the day; all of the people you’re thinking for all the time. The heap emotions you’re feeling and carrying for everyone else as well. We underestimate how much doing all that mental and emotional work takes it’s toll!
We have to take care of that mental and emotional part of ourselves too!
Do something that brings you joy, take time for yourself to relax and recharge, do something that refreshes your mind and soul. Maybe it’s painting or sewing or crafting. Perhaps it’s reading a book or writing in your journal. It could be spending time with God, praying or reading the Bible.
6) Be yourself
This kind of sums up everything. You know you. So be yourself.
We’re always under so much pressure – most of which we actually put on ourselves, I think – to be the perfect woman, wife, mom; the perfect everything! No one is perfect! The illusion of perfection is a lie.
You know what you’re good at and where your strengths lie – work with that, optimise on those things. You know where your weaknesses are, the things you just struggle to excel in. Just own it. Work on it, for sure, but it’s ok to have your weaknesses – we all do! Take the pressure off a bit.
Take some action, Mama!
There are loads of tips and ideas here, but just settle on a few to start with. What do you need the most? Do you need a break? Do you need to get your life a bit more organised? Maybe you just need 10 minutes to take a shower! Get your hubby on board to help you and then do it!
You’re worth so much more than being run down and burnt out!
I would love to connect with you and hear all about your how you’re coping with life and all that’s going on around us! And I’d love to include you in this community of Mommies as we support each other and grow together to become the best moms we can be!
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