Back to School Jitters – Help your child keep calm and carry on!
Going back to school after the long summer holidays can elicit a whole range of emotions for you and your child! After a month or more of being at home in their comfort zone, a lot of children already feel a little nervous about returning to the structure and routine of school. Not to mention they’ll be starting a new school year, with a new teacher, maybe even new subjects, and all the other new things the year may hold.
Here are some practical ways you can help your child prepare for the adjustment of going back to school and combat those jitters so they can keep calm and carry on!
Invite them to chat with you about how they feel.
Your child needs to know that you’re there for them and that they’re able to come and talk to you about ANYTHING!
So, in a non-threatening way, open up the conversation. I’m not talking about a “come and sit down I need to talk to you” type of conversation, I mean a “by the by” kind of conversation. While you’re doing something together like baking or gardening or playing a game, building a puzzle, making supper or doing other chores, just ask them, “Hey, how are you feeling about going back to school?”
And then listen!
If the answer is “fine”. Cool! Let your child know they can talk about it any time and to let you know what they’re thinking. Then leave it there!
A fresh start for a new school year.
No matter what their previous school year was like, no matter the marks they achieved or didn’t achieve, how organized or disorganized they were, how much effort they put in, or didn’t – this new school year is a FRESH START!
It’s the perfect time for them to set some new goals and see what they’d love to accomplish this year.
Yes, it could be an academic goal of achieving better results in a particular subject. But they should consider other goals that relate to their growing as a person!
How can they improve their friendships this year? What ways do they want to serve others? How can they be more organized? What things do they want to develop in their character this year – like patience or kindness, perseverance or generosity?
This article and the FREE TOOL that goes with it will help you lead your child through thinking about all these areas and the goals they can set for a fresh start!
Prepare them for what to expect when they go back to school.
Have you ever felt anxious about something because you just didn’t know what to expect!? And then when someone has given you the low down, you’re like – ok, I can handle this! (This is why we take antenatal classes before we birth a child! – The whole process is a terrifying idea until you know what to expect! (Ok, even then its still a bit terrifying right!))
So, your child likely feels the same about school! Especially as they start a new school year. Some things will be the same and some things will be different. What things will stay they same, what will change as they move up to the next grade?
Find out as much as you can from the school before the new year begins so you can start preparing your child. Who will their new teacher be? Who will be in their class? What new subjects will they be doing this year? Will there be changes to the timetable or school day that you need to prepare your child for?
Knowing just a little bit more about what the new year may hold will make going back to school a bit less scary because as least your child knows what to expect.
Get them excited about the things they enjoy about school.
What does your child LOVE about school? The first answer they’ll probably give you is “friends” and maybe next is “sports” or other extra-murals.
They’ve really missed these over the summer break! Even if they’ve had playdates or been involved with a camp or activity that has included those things they love!
So, get them excited about those things. When they have something to look forward to, the things that are uncertain and might cause them some trepidation won’t seem so bad!
Involve them in the practical preparations for going back to school.
One of the most exciting parts of going back to school for me, when I was a kid, was shopping for all the books and stationery, then coming home and covering all those books in pretty paper and plastic, labelling all my stationery. Yes, it’s nerdy! I know…
Maybe you can involve them in those things like the shopping, covering of books, labelling of stationery. If they’re totally not into that and it’s easier for mom to just go pick it all up on her own (the shops get crazy at back to school time!), then find another way to involve them.
Let them select the design of stickers you’re ordering online. Let them choose their new school bag, lunch bag or stationery case.
Reestablish your back to school routine.
As you get closer to the start of school, you’ll want to start preparing your child for the new not-holiday routine.
What time have they been going to bed, waking up, eating breakfast, snacking, etc, during the holidays. It’s probably going to have to change a little at least when school starts again.
So, a week or two before school starts (you’ll know how much time your child (and you!) need to adjust), move their bed times and their wake up times a little earlier, so on the first day back it’s not a complete shocker to the system! If they’ve been snacking continually through the day, start to establish lunch times or snacks around school break times so their bodies are prepared for delayed gratification.
The night before they go back to school.
If you want a peaceful, stress-free morning, you need to use the day / night before to complete all the final preparations!
Make sure bags are packed, lunches are prepared. Set your child’s school clothes out so they’re all there and easy to access. Make sure your alarms are set for the right time in the morning.
You’re probably all feeling a little anxious about going back to school, and you don’t need any external stressors to create any more anxiety. So eliminate them as far as possible!
The day they go back to school.
Wake your child up with enough time to get ready, eat breakfast and get to school in a relaxed, non-rushed way.
Consider getting them a special treat or gift for going back to school that you haven’t shown them yet. Maybe a new water-bottle with their favorite character on it, new hair clips or headband, a new watch or pair of earrings. Something they can take to school with them if they want, something that makes them feel special and reminds them that you’re thinking of them.
And finally – and maybe this just speaks to me because food speaks to me? Prepare a fun breakfast. Your child may really not feel up to eating breakfast, but they REALLY need that nutrition in the morning so they can get through the day! If you’ve prepared everything else the night before, you’ll have a bit of extra time to make this breakfast something fun and nutritious!
Make waffles or pancakes and serve with some delicious fresh fruit. (Yes! Toss some chocolate chips into the batter and make it a real treat!) Or prepare a delicious smoothie with their favorite fruit and yoghurt in it.
Anxiety and Excitement feel the same!
The interesting thing about anxiety is that the physiological feelings elicited that we call “anxiety” are exactly the same as what we feel when we’re “excited”! Heart racing, increased breathing rate, sweaty palms, feelings of the body preparing for action – it’s exactly the same.
So, here’s my final tip. Reframe those feelings as excitement, not anxiety!
“Ooh I am so excited for the first day back, my heart is beating so fast!” is better than “I am so scared and nervous for the first day back I can’t breathe!”.
This article discusses how participants in different scenarios performed better and with more confidence when they approached the task with excitement rather than anxiety. It didn’t change their heart rate or other physiological responses. But because their mindset was different they outperformed those who approached their tasks with anxiety!
Be positive!
You know how much your children pick up your emotions and how much that impacts them, Mama! So, if you’re positive and calm (or even if you’re “excited”) about the new year, you know they’ll cope with that first day back a lot more effectively.
And remember, the first day back is JUST ONE DAY! In about 6-7 hours it’s over. And then a new day starts again tomorrow!
I would love to connect with you and hear all about your experiences as a mom! And I’d love to include you in this community of Mommies as we support each other and grow together to become the best moms we can be!
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